the thing about microwaves is that they’ve made us soft. before, when you wanted to boil water, you put some water in a pot and put it on the stove for six or seven or eight minutes. then, if you didn’t have a tea kettle, you had to pour the water from the pot into a cup and more often than not, the water spilled onto the counter or on the floor but at least you were careful not to burn yourself. nowadays, when you want hot water, you put your water in a mug and put it in the microwave for a minute. the only thing you have to be careful about now is not burning yourself on the damn mug handle. you think you should be careful about all those gamma rays in the water, but those scientists said there was nothing wrong with microwaved water. that was until you started growing breasts and you suddenly started having a strong urge to collect barbies and all your phone calls were lasting fifteen to twenty minutes and how all you want to eat is some nutella on a spoon in the dark watching reruns of modern family and off the map on the internet.
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