Posts tagged ‘Street Photography’
I went to sleep last night just like every other night.
But this time I woke up three years later,
with a little less hair and a little more wrinkles than before.
Today I think I’m going to try something different.
I have a note posted on my desk.
It says that if you keep doing the same thing you’ll never change.
Tomorrow I’m going to start.
For real this time.
I’m going to write it down.
It seems that most of the stuff on my facebook feed has evolved into inspirational quotes and amazingly uplifting videos. It’s so full of positivity that I rarely have negative thoughts anymore. But when I lose reception on my phone, I’m almost beside myself. I start wondering what videos I’m missing from Sun Gazing, and I start to pace around, constantly pressing the refresh button on my phone, as I whisper how fucking unacceptable it is to have no phone service in a relatively civilized part of the city. But in the back of my mind, I know it’s T-Mobile, and I have a blackberry, and that combination isn’t very reliable. Still, it’s no excuse but then after a few battery pulls everything goes back to normal except now everything is going a little slower on my phone. Then I realize I have to renew my passport by the end of this month so when I go to that site listed first on google that promises you will “avoid the lines” in “three easy steps,” I of course immediately try to sign up. It takes me about twenty minutes to type in all my details but then it asks me for payment and I forgot to read the FAQ beforehand. I’m going to be paying you first but at what point are you going to tell me about the passport picture. Sure, I’m happy that I don’t have to wait at the post-office, but I’d be even happier if I didn’t have to go to some Kinkos or some hole in the wall place for some stranger to take a picture of me.
Dear Peanut Butter:
Often times as parents we get a lot of advice, either from books or from our parents. But noticeably absent in any chapter or advice columns about parenthood is the importance of peanut butter, not necessarily for the child, but for the parent.
You have solved about 99 percent of all problems I have faced with my child. Don’t want to eat your broccoli? Well, here, have some fucking ants on a log. Don’t want to do your homework? That’s fine, but you won’t get a piece of toast with peanut butter. You sound a little grumpy? Here, a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup will make everything better.
Parents have a hard job. We are taught that the “in” thing now is to talk to your children all the time. Some of the uncles or single guys or ladies out there writing these advice columns must think that talking to their favorite niece at a birthday party for fifteen minutes proves their point. But stay at home with the child for at least a year and then come and tell me that children make great conversationalists.
I think you understand that more than anyone or anything. Unlike parents that have replaced peanut butter with hummus or some vegan/gluten free concoction, I have free space in my life where my kids know NEVER to enter. And I couldn’t have done any of that without you, peanut butter.
All I wanted was a well written ‘top ten reasons to do THIS in street photography.’ But every time I came up with a list, I found out that someone like Erik Kim or Steve Huff had come up with a much better list three years prior. So I gave up on lists and for a while I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. And then one morning I decided I was just going to say one thing about street photography like I’m some kind of Buddah, and then to title the whole journey, “The Main Thing I learned About Street Photography I learned in the Bathroom.”
I think it would intrigue some people, and to add a little more incentive, I’d have maybe a webinar, and then when no one expects it, I’ll yell out, “Visit my page and I’ll give you secret codes for cool black and white presets and my thesis on the connection between street photography and solar power!”
Don’t get me wrong here like I’m angling for a scam. There is something to be learned by all this, and to show I’m not a phoney, I start every meeting by repeating three times, “Street photography is like peeing,” and I say it at different speeds so that no one knows when I’m going to say something or jump out at them. When it’s time to seal the deal, I know they’re ready to accept that premise. I have everyone repeat the following at least seven times a day.
Don’t let anyone tell you how or where to pee. That is the art of street photography
One of these days I’m going to get myself my own train. I’ll have it connect to all my secret hideouts so I don’t have to go through all the trouble of squaring the blocks or hacking into the mainframe of certain large law enforcement organizations. With all the new spare time, I’d probably start collecting animals like zebras which as some of you know aren’t horses. When it’s not a horse, you don’t have to worry as much about all those regulations.