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Beer Bread


Rufus Mangrove

The last time I made beer bread was more than fifteen years ago. I had fond memories of being able to make your bread at home quickly without a yeast packet. And all the home chefs making beer bread on YouTube seemed pretty happy with the taste.

Easy. Simple. Fast.

The concept of making beer bread came to me while I was out at Value Village with the family. A neighbor texted me the following:

Hey man — do you happen to have a cheap bland beer I can have for making bread? I’ll give you a loaf . . .

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Value Village on a holiday. It’s a mess. There were like nine hundred people and there were clothes all over the place. I really had no interest in being at Value Village so naturally, my thoughts drifted. And bam, like magic, that’s when I get the text about the beer bread.

I’m thinking all I need is flour and beer and I’ll have bread in like an hour. That sounded good to me. I checked out a few recipes and I was almost right except for the baking powder

They don’t tell you in the recipe that the beer matters. Back when I used to make beer bread, I used only Corona. Where I used to live in Queens, it was either that or Budweiser. I’m starting to think now that my taste buds weren’t developed back then.

The beer I used a few days ago was the Costco Branded IPA Beer. I think for anyone who had the privilege of drinking this beer can attest to, it’s absolutely horrible. No matter how cold it actually is, it has a warm beer flavor.

I made one loaf and it tasted like Beer Flavored Bread. It was weird like wearing your shoes backward weird.

I made the second loaf thinking that perhaps the first one was a bad recipe.


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