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the crown heights


Rufus Mangrove

i don’t really understand gummy colas. i’m not really talking about the science of it or how they actually get the soda in there. science is pretty amazing now with all the stuff and flavors they can make in new jersey so i don’t doubt that. but there’s a few places in the greater brooklyn area where you can buy gummy colas by the fucking pound. it’s that aspect i don’t fully get. a typical package has about twenty three or twenty four gummy colas in it and maybe if you go to costco you can get a package of sixty seven gummy colas. i’ve seen people, as early as this morning, buy this stuff by the pound, and they’re buying at least ten or fifteen pounds. that’s close to a thousand pieces. and these people aren’t in the business of selling these colas or have kids. and these stores where they buy these gummy colas from? these are respectable ones that sell soda and cold cuts and name brand cereal. the new york city police department knows of my serious concerns but right now they’re still “investigating.” what the fuck does that mean? everyone knows what’s going on with the gummy colas. do we have to wait until another tragedy before we start acting?

One Comment

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  1. September 30, 2012

    This is brilliant. Look at that shot! with that text! This is why I love coming here. (Also, I don’t trust anything called “gummy.” Ick.)

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