Posts tagged ‘ricoh grd iii’
when i was born, my mom told me that i had a lot to say. i don’t know whether that’s true or not but i know for a fact that kids don’t really speak in at least the first few months of life in a language that you and i recognize. it’s more like cooing and crying and screaming. so i’m not sure whether she was talking about that as opposed to some possible delusion she had. i think that’s a fair question, because people know, you and i know at least, that these kind of things get passed down.
i thought i was going to be president. but i was tired. so i took a nap instead.
this here just didn’t happen overnight. but then again, i’m not going to lie and say i haven’t been working on it from day one.
a lot of people think i keep my wallet in here or my extra pair of leather thongs. but it never really crossed anyone’s mind out there that i was a follower of positive behavioral adjustment. it works a bit like this. you get rid of money. you get rid of titles and jobs. it’s not necessarily communism, because we all know that’s flawed, but compassionate capitalistic collectivism. we sit all together, as close as possible, and that’s how we get rid of our dependence on foreign oil. and in terms of producing crops and products, we provide incentives through stickers. you grow a tree. you’ll get a round sticker. you grow a row of corn. you’ll get maybe ten or fifteen stickers, maybe even the shiny kind that was kind of puffy too. you grow a whole farm of three types of fruit and you get forty five stickers of your choice. and the way it’s still compassionate is that you actually have to put up the stickers on a collective wooden board in the center of town.
i’ll make you free for a small price. or at the very least, you can watch me remove every single hair on my body.
you see the way it sticks up there like that, all of them all together in rows as far as you can see. that’s fucking rat mucus man.
at home i have seventeen floors.
i’m not much for anything but if there’s one thing i like, it’s amazon.com.
you see, it’s kind of rounded at the edges. and the top part is a lot smoother than you would think. but i’m telling you, just put your hands on top of it and it’s probably the smoothest thing at least I have ever felt before. and i’ve been in the industry, how much would you say, thirty-three years. that’s about right. i’ve been here a long time. and again, i’m telling you, there’s nothing better than a smurfus on your ass when you’re having fucking pancakes to screw the whole damn thing up.
i didn’t get to where i am by simply letting things happen. i make things happen. you best believe that i’ll be on your ass if you try to conceal a gravity knife from me or do anything that would be in violation of the new york state penal law. i have the whole damn thing memorized. you see that big ass truck? i keep my family in there. they’ve been in there the last three weeks. if you think i’m hard on them, imagine how hard i’m going to be on you when i put my knee in the middle of your back.
e v e r y d a y aperture 