Posts tagged ‘NYC’
About a month ago, I was looking through the on-again off-again mess that is my closet. On the floor, behind a box of folders, were ten rolls of exposed tri-x in a ziplock bag. I had no idea when I took these films , other than that it was within the last five years. This was the first roll I had developed. My Ricoh has been suffering from light leaks, and this was taken before I noticed how consistent and pervasive the leaks became.
About a week after Sandy, I went with a group of neighbors down to the Rockaways to help out. Even with the pictures and news reports, there was still nothing that prepared me for what I saw. Homes and businesses destroyed with such certainty. Reminders everywhere of things and people that used to be.
the last time something remotely large and wonderful came out of my ear was back in my junior year of high school. i was driving in my car at about sixty or seventy miles an hour and all of a sudden it felt as though someone threw a piece of stepped on carpet in my left ear. i quickly reached into my ear with my index and thumb and pulled out something that looked a lot like flattened li hing mui. for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s salty dried plum, also referred to in my hometown of Hawaii as “crack seed,” and mind you this name was given prior to any crack epidemic. i held it in my fingers for a while, amazed and shocked by its size, and questioned how the hell it existed in my ear canal all this time even though i often cleaned my ears with a q-tip. where the hell did it come from? in complete denial i threw it out the window, not knowing that that would be the last time anything that spectacular would come out of my ear. if i knew then what i knew now, i would definitely have kept it in a jar or at least an envelope. this whole fascination must be somehow related to our evolution, because there’s something beyond mere satisfaction or curiosity of taking a huge piece of ear wax or gunk out of your ear. one time, when i was living in kosovo, i didn’t have q-tips for like two weeks. my ears were itchy and i could feel the gunk building up. when we went to the store, i opened up the q-tips, or whatever knockoff brand they had, and began cleaning my ears behind the aisles as my wife pretended not to know me. even though it took 4 q-tips to clean my ears, i was hoping for that once in a life time large chunk, like when you stick your spoon deep in peanut butter and pull it out.
back in high school, i drove a third-generation black chevrolet camaro IROC-Z with a 5.7 litre engine. that was when gas was still a dollar and i lived at home. i didn’t get any chicks with the car and that part kind of sucked but the car was solid. when i turned that thing on, birds flew out of the trees. when i was stopped at the red light, people were afraid to look over at me. and when i floored that thing, my head snapped back like i was on star trek or something.
but i sold that car before going to college because what was i going to do, ship that car to a small town in upstate new york? so when i’d come home for the summers, i’d shell out $1500 to buy a car just for the summer and sell it before going back. i had a rust colored chevrolet cavalier that first summer. then a faded blue ford taurus the second. and i can’t remember the third or fourth cars, but i know for certain that one of them was picked up by that kidney foundation that tows your car for free.
then in law school i leased a car because that was the sensible thing to do. so i leased a smart car at the time, a nissan altima. and then when i moved to the city i thought what the fuck am i going to do with a car? so now i take the subway and the bus or I just walk everywhere even when it’s cold as all hell and when i have to go somewhere else i rent a zipcar from the local target here in brooklyn. they have all sorts of smart cars with funny names. like their ford focus is called inertia. and their ford explorer is called elvis.
Don’t you want me?
You know I can’t believe it
When I hear that you won’t see me.
Don’t you want me?
You know I don’t believe you
When you say that you don’t need me.
It’s much too late to find
When you think you’ve changed your mind
You’d better change it back or we will both beee so-rrrry . . .
DON’T YOU WANT ME BABY?