Posts tagged ‘Moods’
The Fermi Paradox is “the apparent contradiction between the lack of evidence and high probability estimates for the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations.” I don’t know if I buy this. I think the fact that we can imagine that there is life in space means that there is in fact life in space. In the end, I think the paradox comes down to this: at some point either we will take planes into space or something will come in planes from space. We just don’t know.
From the Inside
Take everything from the inside
and throw it all away
I swear for the last time
I won’t trust myself with you
Dear Peanut Butter:
Often times as parents we get a lot of advice, either from books or from our parents. But noticeably absent in any chapter or advice columns about parenthood is the importance of peanut butter, not necessarily for the child, but for the parent.
You have solved about 99 percent of all problems I have faced with my child. Don’t want to eat your broccoli? Well, here, have some fucking ants on a log. Don’t want to do your homework? That’s fine, but you won’t get a piece of toast with peanut butter. You sound a little grumpy? Here, a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup will make everything better.
Parents have a hard job. We are taught that the “in” thing now is to talk to your children all the time. Some of the uncles or single guys or ladies out there writing these advice columns must think that talking to their favorite niece at a birthday party for fifteen minutes proves their point. But stay at home with the child for at least a year and then come and tell me that children make great conversationalists.
I think you understand that more than anyone or anything. Unlike parents that have replaced peanut butter with hummus or some vegan/gluten free concoction, I have free space in my life where my kids know NEVER to enter. And I couldn’t have done any of that without you, peanut butter.
even now, after everything i went through, i still get asked what it’s like to have a ten foot tail. i laugh to myself and just shake my head. you should see their expressions when i whisper, “i can fly motherfucker. what can you do?” i say it so fast and with a slight turkish accent that they’re not really sure what i said but are too embarrassed to ask me to repeat it. so they just smile and tip their head a little bit before walking away.
some of my friends’ friends, they keep talking about wanting to get a better car than the one they have. but me, i don’t even have a car. i like to think i can afford it but really i can’t. i eat three times a day and go out to lunch at least once a week, but i can’t afford a car. where am i going to park it? whose going to pay for the insurance? with all those crazy drivers out there and the teenagers now they just hit my car after a few weeks and then i won’t be able to drive it. what then. then i’ll be paying for a car that doesn’t work. that’s the last thing i need right now with the economy the way it is. some of my friends friends don’t have jobs so i don’t know where they are getting the money but probably from rich uncles or something. that’s the only thing that could explain it because me i’ve got a good job, no a great job at the dumpling house. i work maybe nine hours a day, starting with the lunch shift. we go pretty hard those few hours then we slow down then pick up again right around 5:30. i get to meet lots of people. people from the neighborhood. tourists. the young ones. and i get to eat on the house so none of my money goes wasted to food. i keep my expenses low. and sometimes in the summers, i get picked to work overtime for the weddings. and that’s when i make some good money. i make time a half.