Posts tagged ‘midwood’
I’m not so much into crazy shit talk but sometimes I think people are watching me. Just the other day, I was walking down Ocean Avenue and for whatever reason I looked up and there was this Caribbean guy about six floors up taking pictures of me. I thought maybe it was a coincidence that it was the third time that week that I caught someone taking pictures of me with a long lens. But when I crossed over Newkirk, one of those dollar vans pulled up next to me on the sidewalk and tried to offer me a ride. The guy kept saying, “No really, it’s my pleasure, really,” but his teeth were all nasty and there were bits of meat inside and meat makes me feel really uncomfortable. So I jumped over the fence and then through the basement of the church and then I climbed up a tree and then jumped onto a roof and then slid down into the yard. I don’t know whether I had broken anything but at least I knew I wasn’t being followed. I don’t know how long that was going to last so instead of getting up I crawled through the yard, past the sidewalk, underneath the car, and down into the gutter. I thought it was going to be a lot nastier than it was, and if you haven’t tried it, I really suggest it. It’s warm and moist. That’s good things to have IMHO when you need a hideout during the winter.
if i had to describe it in a few minutes, i think the real difference between manhattanites and brooklynites comes down to movie theatres. in manhattan, when something goes wrong with the movie in the theatre, everyone gets all serious and they won’t leave the place until they get a refund and free drink or something. and they’ll be pissed and make sure everyone hears them say that “they’re never coming back to this place ever ever again” and that they’re going to lodge a complaint with the city on the new 3-1-1 app for iphone. they all then start yelling with one another and then after five or ten minutes everyone starts blaming bloomberg or newt gingrich.
but in brooklyn, when something goes wrong with the movie, everyone just kind of shrugs and laughs quietly to themselves.