Posts tagged ‘imagine’
Is there anything more hopeless in the photography world than street photography? Here’s a camera, go wander the fucking streets by yourself for a period of time and for no money, and come back with something good that most people don’t want to look at on their walls.
You ever get your rolls back in the mail and ask yourself why you were allowed to carry a camera that day? You ever review a memory card worth of pictures and immediately want to sell all your digital equipment on Ebay? Street photography can be fucking hopeless. But you do it anyway, because you saw a picture, and you had to take it. Or worse, you do it because you saw a picture and you missed it.
So if you’re going to do it, just know what you’re getting into. Because once you start, you will never stop, like some kind of sick Alfred Hitchcock episode . . .
It seems that most of the stuff on my facebook feed has evolved into inspirational quotes and amazingly uplifting videos. It’s so full of positivity that I rarely have negative thoughts anymore. But when I lose reception on my phone, I’m almost beside myself. I start wondering what videos I’m missing from Sun Gazing, and I start to pace around, constantly pressing the refresh button on my phone, as I whisper how fucking unacceptable it is to have no phone service in a relatively civilized part of the city. But in the back of my mind, I know it’s T-Mobile, and I have a blackberry, and that combination isn’t very reliable. Still, it’s no excuse but then after a few battery pulls everything goes back to normal except now everything is going a little slower on my phone. Then I realize I have to renew my passport by the end of this month so when I go to that site listed first on google that promises you will “avoid the lines” in “three easy steps,” I of course immediately try to sign up. It takes me about twenty minutes to type in all my details but then it asks me for payment and I forgot to read the FAQ beforehand. I’m going to be paying you first but at what point are you going to tell me about the passport picture. Sure, I’m happy that I don’t have to wait at the post-office, but I’d be even happier if I didn’t have to go to some Kinkos or some hole in the wall place for some stranger to take a picture of me.
All I wanted was a well written ‘top ten reasons to do THIS in street photography.’ But every time I came up with a list, I found out that someone like Erik Kim or Steve Huff had come up with a much better list three years prior. So I gave up on lists and for a while I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. And then one morning I decided I was just going to say one thing about street photography like I’m some kind of Buddah, and then to title the whole journey, “The Main Thing I learned About Street Photography I learned in the Bathroom.”
I think it would intrigue some people, and to add a little more incentive, I’d have maybe a webinar, and then when no one expects it, I’ll yell out, “Visit my page and I’ll give you secret codes for cool black and white presets and my thesis on the connection between street photography and solar power!”
Don’t get me wrong here like I’m angling for a scam. There is something to be learned by all this, and to show I’m not a phoney, I start every meeting by repeating three times, “Street photography is like peeing,” and I say it at different speeds so that no one knows when I’m going to say something or jump out at them. When it’s time to seal the deal, I know they’re ready to accept that premise. I have everyone repeat the following at least seven times a day.
Don’t let anyone tell you how or where to pee. That is the art of street photography
i hate it when i’m doing something real focused, like hanging clothes in the closet, and then turning around to catch my cat by the door staring at me. i hate it mostly because it happens pretty much all the time. i could be surfing the internet and turn around and in the corner of my eye, my cat is staring at me from underneath the table or on top of the ten foot bookcase. not a lot of people stare at me when i’m on the street because i am trying to go through life completely anonymous and i’ve worked hard to go mostly unnoticed by everything and everyone. but then this whole cat thing puts all the work i’ve done into question. i stay up at night worrying about it. i know cats are skilled and everything but if i can’t hide from my own cat then i might have a real problem. but what i really hate is when i think my cat is staring at me and when i give a double take, it’s my unfolded boxers or a hand towel discarded on the floor. and then i’ll see my cat staring at me from some other place in the room. sometimes i pick up the boxers or hand towel and throw it at her.
I have nothing against NPR. Let me first just make that clear. What I have a problem with is sometimes they put really questionable stuff on the air, which makes me wonder whether the stuff I think is legit is really, in fact, just plain bullshit. Take for instance right now. On the air, someone is interviewing a father-son team, who wrote some book about “What waiters really think of you.” First of all, I don’t give a fuck about what waiters think of me. I’m not sure what else to say after that.
last night i got into my car and drove into the ocean. at the time it didn’t seem like a stupid idea. i had to get to coney island and going via the ocean was the quickest way. by the time i made it a few hundred feet off shore, i realized i had a lot longer to go, and things were taking a lot longer than i expected. i was able to turn the car around but the current prevented me from going anywhere. i wasn’t freaking out because i could see land but the more i pressed the gas, the more i just stayed in the same place. i thought about jumping overboard and pushing the car but then there might have been sharks.